I am keeping my brain busy while waiting to go back to the hospital to say goodbye to my dad. Waiting on my cousin to bring my sweet baby boy to me so I can drop him off at daycare for the day.
I have so many things I want to say, but my brain is blank and my heart is sad.
We took my dad off of the ventilator yesterday and it’s been a waiting game since then. His vitals are dropping and it is very likely he will be gone sometime today.
When I woke up yesterday I had no idea this is where I would be today. He’s been sick, but I thought he might pull through again.
I wanted to come here and share this photo. I took very few photos at Christmas. It was hard to juggle my camera and the baby throughout the day. I am so thankful I took the time to snap a few of Beck and his Grandpa. It’s the last one I will ever have. I only have a couple of them together and this one is the best by far. It has reminded me why I love photography. It has reminded me to enjoy the moments, and to document them as often as I can. I wish I had more photos of my parents. Especially more photos of me with my parents. But I can’t go back in time and I have to cherish the ones I do have.
I lost my mom 7 years ago in February. It was hard and changed me forever. Losing my dad will be the same. I know though that he will no longer suffer and that gives me peace.
goodbye daddy-o. I love you and I know you were so proud of that boy.
-m
I think one of the reasons I have 500 pictures on my iPhone at all times and love photography as much as I do is because my family wasn’t much for taking pictures. My sister has a few photo albums with pictures of me as a baby. But, I have no pictures of my family. Very, very few of my mom and dad. I love pictures. I love the memories that they can bring back. I’ll randomly go through folders on my computer and find images from just a few years ago and remember things completely unrelated. There’s a quote from the movie “One Hour Photo” that has impacts me as much now as it did the first time I heard it:
“And if these pictures have anything important to say to future generations, it’s this: I was here. I existed. I was young, I was happy, and someone cared enough about me in this world to take my picture.”
While that’s an incredibly creepy movie – that line has always stuck with me.
You have a lot of friends and family that will be there for you. It’s important to remember that in times like this.
Sweet Melissa, my heart hurts for you. I love you.
I am so sorry, Melissa. My grandma (of TSA fame) died yesterday and while it is kind of a relief because she was so sick and ready to go, it still hurts. My heart goes out to you.
Oh hun! I know exactly how you feel. I am praying for you hun! Love you!
I’m so sorry that you had to go through this. There’s nothing I can say expect that I’m praying for you.